Diary of a Diabetic

It’s been 10 weeks since I got the news that I have type 2 diabetes. I feel like I’m failing miserably. I always thought that I was the sort of person who if faced with a life changing illness would do everything I could to make the changes necessary. To get well and stay healthy and it seems I am not.

I’m not sure if I’m burying my head in the sand and rebelling. Am I just too deeply committed and addicted to the sugar, stodge and fatty foods that I crave constantly. I fear it might be a mixture of both. Either way the only person getting hurt is me and my future. I have to make a decision to stop, to heal, to repair. To fight with myself to get well.

I’ve so far had two appointments with a diabetic nurse. I’m in the process of changing nurses so should have my third one sometime in September. It will include a blood test to see if the medication is making any difference. I have not found these appointments to be useful. I did have a really positive appointment with a dietitian who understood exactly where I was coming from. She worked with me to figure out the changes I need to make and how to take small steps towards achieving them.

Despite a good few weeks at the beginning of my diagnosis, watching what I ate and trying to be more active I find myself slipping back into bad habits. I lost a couple of pounds but have definitely put them back on this past few weeks and this needs to change.

I’m most annoyed about is that after almost 30 years of yo-yo dieting and feeling horrible about my body I had finally got to a place where despite being at my heaviest weight I felt good about myself.  I realised that who I was didn’t depend on a number on a scale or a dress size and that there were far worst things in life I could be than fat.

I may have diabetes....But diabetes doesnothave me

I need to get over this and realise that this is my health that’s at stake. If these changes don’t happen then I will suffer the consequences and complications that diabetes can bring. I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life or live till a ripe old age.

I will control diabetes it will not control me.

4 Comments

  1. September 1, 2016 / 20:31

    Ah bless its a nightmare, Jack our oldest was diagnosed with type 1 5 years ago and it changed his life but he dealt with it and handles it so well, you can live with this its all about getting your head around it. Why dont you try slimming world, not for the diet but for the dietary advice and support I follow it most of the time and its a great healthy eating plan and i implement it into family cooking which helps Jack manage his sugar x

    • September 1, 2016 / 21:00

      Thanks for your comment Sarah, glad Jack manages his diabetes so well. I have been to slimming world in the past & lost weight successfully so I have been thinking about rejoining I think it would do us all some good 🙂

  2. Rebecca Brown
    September 7, 2016 / 18:40

    Hi there, I totally identified with your post. I was diagnosed at Christmas (Christmas! Sob!) and had a couple of reviews. It’s definitely been a difficult journey over the last few months and very difficult to come to terms with and like you I’ve struggled with controlling the food that isn’t so suitable. The only thing I’ve found works for me is a reward system week by week (mine is books) and I’d recommend it.

    All I can say is hang on in there. Make sure you get full healthcare from your gp – the Desmond course is really useful. And it does get easier xx

    • September 8, 2016 / 07:11

      Thanks so much for your comment Rebecca it’s nice to know there are other people who feel the same about it, a reward system is a great idea xx

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