I’ve been in two minds about writing this post for a few weeks now, I know the subject of teen pregnancy can be a very controversial topic and many people have very strong views but I wanted to share my experience and also to talk about a big change that is about to happen in our lives very soon.
I became pregnant with my first baby in 1997, I was nineteen years old and had just moved out of home , I gave birth to my daughter the day after my twentieth birthday so I suppose I have never really considered myself a teen mum, although I was still very young.
I don’t think I ever felt the stigma that some young mum’s can feel, maybe I never noticed people staring or maybe they just didn’t.
I had to grow up from quite a young age so I had always had a sense of responsibility and I worked hard at being a good mum, I didn’t feel I had missed out on anything as I had been partying so to speak since I was fifteen, I had also had some pretty good jobs so I felt ready to take on the role of being a mum.
There is a point to me telling you this, the little girl I gave birth to back in 1997 is having a baby of her own, I still can’t quite believe it, where on earth did the time go between her taking her first steps to being on the verge of becoming a parent herself ?.
I know that some people would be horrified at the thought of their daughter having a baby at sixteen, it would be the end of their world, they would feel shame and despair but I don’t, I feel a little sad for the experiences that my little girl hasn’t yet had, such as getting a job, going on holiday with friends and having fun without a care in the world.
I used to see everything as black and white but my own experiences over the past few years have shown me that there are many shades of grey in between, I don’t judge anybody or anything anymore, I try to open my mind and look at all sides before I decide how I feel about something.
I don’t feel like her life is over or ruined (yes this has been said to me) I just think life will be a little harder than she imagined it would be, but she is a strong girl who will be a wonderful mother and I will be there for her every step of the way.
Did I ever imagine I would be a grandparent at thirty-six years old, no of course not but nor did I expect to have a sixteen year age gap between my eldest and youngest child, I suppose what I’m trying to say is that this is life, things happen and life goes on, we make the best of it that we can.
So to my little girl I say this, Jess I love you no matter what, wherever life takes you I will be here for you, I’m proud of you for facing up to your responsibilities and I know you will be a wonderful mummy to my grandson.
Thanks for reading