Taking A Break

I’ve decided to take a break from my lovely blog and blogging in general, it’s not been an easy decision to make at all. In fact it’s taken me months of toing and froing to finally admit that for the moment my heart just isn’t in it anymore.

My health hasn’t been great recently, I need to focus on getting well first and foremost. Although I share lots of things there are still difficult and stressful things in the background that I choose to keep private. For now those things need my full attention.

Sometimes in life you get exactly what you have been wanting or working towards and then all of a sudden you realise that perhaps it’s not what you wanted at all. It’s hard to just admit this, especially when so much effort and so many hours have been spent.

I know everyone says this but it’s true, I’ve met so many lovely people through being a blogger. I will definitely miss the community but I’m also definitely looking forward to getting my evenings back.

I think I took a wrong turn somewhere and drifted further and further away from why I wanted to blog in the first place. For almost 4 years I’ve shared all aspects of our lives, put my thoughts and feelings out there for all to see which for an introvert like me has been a revelation.

I’ve no doubts that I’m not totally done with blogging, I am still a blogger, a writer and a sharer but for now I need to put it down. I need some time and space to reevaluate, so I’m stepping off the relentless merry-go-round that blogging can be.

I suppose I just want to say thank you, for each and every one of you that has ever visited, commented, entered a giveaway, taken part in a linky it’s all been appreciated.

I won’t say goodbye I will say see you soon…..

 

 

 

Living Arrows 14/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

I’m pleased to report that last week was a much better week for us all. Although, I’m not quite sure where on earth that week went.

I’ve noticed a lot of people mention that their kids have finished school for the Easter holidays, Daisy has almost two weeks left ! I must admit I’m slightly jealous, I love the slower pace of life that half term brings, I of course don’t love the inevitable sibling squabbles.

The weather forecast is promising some sunshine this coming week which s great news. I might even let the kids break out the shorts and t-shirts.

Jake

The thing that lots of us parents dread has finally happened, Jake has totally dropped his afternoon nap ! I know I was probably a bit spoilt that he’s had one up until now. I tend to get very tired in the afternoon so instead of a nap I’m insisting on some quiet time. It gives both Jake and I a chance to recharge our batteries. Some days we read books but sometimes I let Jake watch something on my iPad. It gives him the down time he needs and me a little time to rest.

Daisy

I can’t claim this picture as my own but it’s my favourite one of Daisy from this week. This lucky little girl was treated to a Friday night sleepover and a breakfast with Belle and The Beast the next day. My lovely cousin came to collect Daisy after school on Friday. On Saturday she surprised her with a visit to a Beauty and The Beast themed breakfast at a local restaurant. There were games, songs and stories and Daisy even got to dance with the beast himself.

Living Arrows

 

 

March At The Websters

I won’t sugar coat it, March for me has been a bit shit. Months of stress and anxiety caught up with me and knocked me off my feet. I’m working on reducing the stress and trying to use techniques I’ve learnt to help with the anxiety. It’s going to be a long road to recovery for me and taking it one day at a time doesn’t come naturally.

I totally blame Tom Hardy for this rubbish month as I didn’t like the photo of him on my calendar for March. Joking aside it’s made me take a long hard look at my lifestyle and pushed me to make some changes I had been putting off.

Of course there’s been some positives in March. As much as I do try to focus on the good parts I feel it’s also important to embrace the bad. So I’m  sharing a mixture of what the Month of March brought us.

  • We visited a local farm to spot the first signs of Spring.
  • Daisy had an eye test at school which needs a follow-up appointment.
  • We watched loads of great new films including Moana which I think is the best film I’ve ever seen.
  • I had to turn away work due to feeling so stressed.
  • We had some lovely Sunny days which meant lots of garden time.
  • I managed to dry lots of washing on the line on said Sunny days.
  • I had a wonderful child-free afternoon at Bygone Times.
  • Daisy celebrated World Book Day at school dressed as Rapunzel.
  • Jake got over his fear of having a bath, hallelujah !
  • Daisy got an ear infection and needed lots of cuddles.
  • I cut my working hours right back and enjoyed some much needed time with Chris in the evenings instead.
  • Daisy moved up a reading level which means a trip to year 1’s classroom to change her book.
  • Red nose day was celebrated with crazy hair and joke telling at school.
  • Jake and I went to a maths workshop in Daisy’s class.
  • We saved lots of money by Spring cleaning our finances and embracing frugality again.

I’m hoping with all the changes I have been making that April will be a better month for us. I’m looking forward to the Easter holidays, visiting family and eating Easter eggs.

Living Arrows 13/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

I’ve not taken many photo’s this week of the children. Some weeks just seem to whizz by and not much is achieved. The children continue to grow and change regardless, I love that I can capture a still of those tiny differences from week to week.

Daisy

Someone couldn’t resist trying on Mummy’s specs this week. Funnily enough she did have an eye test at school which she didn’t pass. We are just waiting for a further appointment to see what the problem is. In other fantastic news, Daisy went up a reading level and now has to visit the year 1 classroom to choose her reading books. It won’t be long before she’s reading us a story at bedtime.

Jake

I’m not going to sugar coat it, last week with Jake was very very stressful. He’s always been a challenge but last week was an absolute nightmare. I’m hoping it’s because he’s been under the weather lately and not a permanent thing. This stickle brick creation is a banana shooting machine, nothing beats the imagination of an almost 3 year old.

Living Arrows

 

 

The Things I Will Never Know

Life is full of questions, it’s how we learn, by asking them. Sometimes there are questions that we never ask, even though we want to. Sometimes we want to ask but we don’t really want to know the answers.

Questions can sometimes be painful, because there are no answers. They will always be there, unanswered no matter how much you try to make peace with that fact it will still hurt.

On Mother’s Day I allow myself to ask these questions. I allow myself to feel the pain and weight that these questions bare. Then I take a deep breath and continue on.

Here are the things I will never know.

When did you first feel me move in your belly ? how much did I weigh when I was born ? Was I good baby ? 

When was my first smile, tooth, step ?

Did you love me then, ever, at the end ?

Why did you really leave ? what made you so unhappy ? did you miss me ? 

Did you ever tell me the truth ? 

Are the few memories I have of you from childhood real ? Were there any good memories ?

Did you know that the last time you saw me it would be the last ?

Could you understand why I couldn’t watch you die ? 

Did you hate me right at the end ? Is that why nobody has ever been in touch to tell me ?

Did you find peace ? I hope you did.

 

 

 

Living Arrows 12/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

Last week was a tough one all round. The children are poorly yet again, Daisy has an ear infection and Jake has a nasty snotty cold. I really am fed up of all these illnesses plaugeing us, it’s so hard to stay positive sometimes. Stress levels have been through the roof and everyone has been grumpy.

I know there will always be days and weeks like this, it’s part and parcel of life. I suppose all we can do is just keep rolling with it.

Jake

Jake has just started asking me for specific food at mealtimes. He’s been happily reeling off a list of things he likes and things he doesn’t. Although he’s full of a cold he’s had one hell of an appetite this week. He’s not usually a great eater but he’s wolfed his food down this week even asking for seconds. I’m fully expecting a sudden growth spurt in the next few weeks.

Boiled egg and soldiers are a firm favourite in our house.

Daisy

We spent all day in our pyjamas on Sunday, after the stressful week we’ve had it was called for. Daisy wanted to make some cupcakes for her packed lunch on Monday. We had a box of those quick and easy, add an egg types in the cupboard thankfully. She’s still taking antibiotics for an ear infection but I’m hoping we’ve seen the back of being poorly for a while.

Living Arrows

 

Almost Spring

I used to think that Winter was my favourite season but the last few years have seen me slowly change my mind. Of course I love Christmas and the seasonal loveliness it brings. The past few Winters have been nothing but grey and dismal. Instead of snow we’ve had rain and constantly fluctuating temperatures. This has made me yearn for Spring more than ever.

This year I have noticed what a negative effect Winter has had on my physical and mental health. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything like seasonal affective disorder but I definitely do suffer some form of blues quite badly around this time. In the past I’ve suffered from a Vitamin D deficiency but I know take supplements which do help somewhat.

Last weekend I felt the need more than ever to get out and search for the first signs of Spring. Here in the UK Spring officially starts on March 20th but I knew if I searched hard enough I could find what I was looking for. I was also desperate to feel the sun on my skin and get some fresh air in my lungs.

With no sign of rain we set off to visit one of our favourite places. Acorn Farm is a small community run farm near Knowsley. I’ve blogged about our visits a couple of times. The children love the animals and the parks, but for me it’s more about the sensory garden and the little woodland walk.

There’s a herb garden where the plants are already flourishing. We spent some time smelling the leaves and branches and guessing which herbs they were. The sensory garden was alive with signs of Spring. From the tall yellow daffodils to the stunning purple crocuses, it couldn’t help but to lift my spirits.

I don’t know whether it’s a part of getting older but I certainly don’t remember taking this much notice of flowers and plants in my younger days. I also notice and appreciate the signs of seasonal changes so much more now too.

It was so lovely to do something as a family. Our weekends can often be busy and time together can sometimes become neglected.

Those few hours outside, surrounded by nature with the sun on my face made me feel happier than I have in a little while. So I welcome Spring with open arms, ready for growth and renewal.

 

 

Living Arrows 11/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

One goal that I make every year but inevitably fail at is to try to get outside more. I don’t mean just in the garden but to actually go somewhere on the weekend. Sometimes I find myself having to squash in the remainder of undone chores from the week in to the weekend. This leaves little time to visit anywhere other than the local park.

I was determined to get out together as a family this weekend. I planned in advance so no matter what the weather there were no excuses. We went to a local farm, it’s community run and the entry fee is more than reasonable. It’s the perfect place to take photo’s and make memories. That’s what life is all about after all.

Daisy

Daisy drinks in everything around her. She always wants to know why, or how or when. I feel privileged to watch her learn and grow. I might not have all the answers for her but I will certainly try my best.

Jake is a hands on little boy. He loves to touch and explore so the sensory garden at the farm was his paradise. So much will change for him in the next few months. He will turn 3 and start going to nursery and those last little pieces of babyhood will be left behind.

Nappies are slowly being replaced with big boy undies. The booster seat at the dinner table is about to be retired and the stair gates are redundant. Jake is my last baby so these little but important changes are almost bittersweet.

 

Living Arrows

Post Pregnancy Hair Loss

I’ve always had a long thick head of hair, it’s been like that for as far back as I can remember. Apart from the very few times that I got fed up and chopped it to shoulder length. I soon regretted my decision as I just didn’t feel like myself without my long locks.

So when I noticed after having Daisy  that I had a small bald patch I will admit I felt quite anxious. Despite being pregnant twice before this was the first time I had experienced anything like this. Thankfully it was a very minor patch and it grew back within a few months.

During my pregnancy with Jake I was that busy with a toddler to look after I didn’t really notice anything different with my hair. Life got even busier once he arrived and it wasn’t until I saw a photo of myself 3 months later that I was shocked at how much hair I had missing. I don’t have a fringe as such, and I wear my hair pulled back in to a pony tail most days which made it even more noticeable.

I began to feel very self conscious about it. Chris assured me that it wasn’t that noticeable but to me it was like I had a huge flashing light pointing towards it. I also started to worry in case it never grew back.

I did some research and got some advice from fellow mums which helped to put my mind at ease. Thankfully around six months later my bald patch had disappeared completely.

Here are some things I learned about post pregnancy hair loss and what you can do about it.

The Facts

  • During pregnancy those wonderful hormones interrupt the normal hair growth cycle.
  • Higher levels of oestrogen freeze the normal daily hair loss cycle.
  • Your hair appears thicker and glossier during pregnancy but once you have given birth the cycle restarts and oestrogen levels fall and all that lovely extra hair falls out.
  • At around 3 months postpartum many women notice a dramatic hair loss.
  • For most women their usual hair growth cycle will return between 6 to 12 months of giving birth.

What you can do

  • Be gentle, although you can’t prevent the hair loss you can make sure you are not losing any excess. Condition your hair well and use a wide tooth comb to prevent tangles.
  • Don’t pull your hair back in to tight pony tails or up-do’s.
  • Put off any chemical based treatments like colouring or perming until the loss has stopped.
  • Eat well and take supplements to support healthy hair growth.

For some women hair loss can be more more extreme and long term, there is help available from hair clinics such as Advanced Tricho Pigmentation Treatment. Of course if you are worried about your hair loss for any reason I recommend talking to your GP.

*This is a collaborative post*

 

 

 

 

Living Arrows 10/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

The first week back after half term has been a soggy one and the weekend has been no different. The kids think the gigantic puddles are great fun and they have wanted to splosh through them at every opportunity.

On Saturday while I enjoyed a much needed Mummy day out the kids enjoyed a trip to a soft play centre with Daddy. They had lunch and a play before heading home where I found them snoozing on the couch when I came home. On Sunday they went to Nanny and Grandad’s for the afternoon so they have had quite a busy weekend.

Jake

Jake loves to build, whether it’s blocks or bricks he loves to make cars and planes. His dexterity amazes me sometimes. There are only 2 months left until his 3rd birthday. He’s growing up so fast but in lots of ways he is still my baby.

Daisy

Daisy always wants to do what Mummy does. She watches me putting on make-up or doing my hair and always asks lots of questions. I know she’s excited to be a big girl but I want to keep her little just for a while longer. After her shower last week she asked to have a hair turban ‘like Mummy’. As you can she was delighted with the results.

 

Living Arrows