Living Arrows 21/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

I’ve been a terrible blogger this week and barely taken any photo’s of the kids at all. I usually like to post separate photo’s of them but this week I only have one of them together.

Daisy & Jake

Drawing, writing and colouring are Daisy’s favourite activities and Jake seems to following suit. The weather has reverted back to being rainy so the kids have had to play indoors. Daisy almost always chooses to do something creative. While Jake prefers to build or play with playdough.

It was so nice to see them getting along, sitting peacefully beside one another. As siblings they do butt heads regularly. It can feel like I’ve spent my whole day refereeing squabbles sometimes.

On this particular day we had the soundtrack to Moana playing in the background. Daisy is singing along to ‘We know the way’. It’s simple little things like this that I want to remember.

It’s too easy to only take photo’s on a day out or at a special event. So I’m going to challenge myself to take at least one photo a day of the kids to capture the ordinary times as well.

Living Arrows

 

Living Arrows 20/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

Last week saw us celebrate Jake’s birthday in the sunshine. Here in the North West we have been treated to some lovely weather for the past couple of weeks. Even on the grey days there has been some sunshine poking through. Once again the garden has been the place to be after school, it’s given Jake lots of time to practice on his new balance bike.

Daisy

On Friday Daisy was awarded the Headteachers Award at school. She got it for always giving 100% in everything she does and her positive attitude to learning. Of course we have our moments with her at home like anyone else but on the whole she’s pretty terrific. As you can imagine we are very proud of her. This week she’s been asking me questions that I’ve had to google the answers to !

Jake 

Jake has had fun with his birthday presents this week. As well as building his new Duplo and learning how to ride his balance bike he’s been busy painting. I love the look of concentration on his face with his little tongue poking out.

An early nursery place isn’t looking likely although they have promised he can go for the last two weeks before the Summer holidays. He is more than ready to go and make new friends but at least he won’t be alone as a new starter in September.

Living Arrows

 

 

Now You Are Three

Dear Jake, today you turn three. I hope you have a happy day and enjoy the presents that Mummy and Daddy chose for you. It feels like only yesterday that you arrived in to the world. You weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and had the most beautiful head of thick hair. You were not happy to leave the comfort of Mummy’s belly and you let the whole room know with your angry cries of protest.

I won’t sugar coat it, the first year was tough. You suffered with colic and we couldn’t put you down for a moment. The angry cries continued and we didn’t know how to help you. Time moved quickly and before we knew it you were sitting, then crawling, then walking. We blinked for a moment and you grew in to a spirited toddler, full of fun and mischief.

There have been some challenging times, I won’t lie. You have brought us joy and frustration in equal measures. There have been days when every ounce of my patience has been required. Days where bedtime couldn’t come too soon.

But there have also been many more days where my heart has almost burst with pride. You are clever, independent, funny and oh so loving. You do this funny little side glance that you know makes Mummy laugh so much. When you wrap your little arms around my neck and tell me you love me I know I did a good job.

The last couple of months have seen us turn a huge corner with you. You seem to have grown up overnight. I am happy but I do wish time would slow a little, you are my last baby after all.

Now you are three the next big adventure awaits. Soon you will leave Mummy for a few hours and go to nursery. There will be friends to make, games to play and lots to learn. I have no doubts you will love it as much as your sister did.

Happy Birthday, my spirited blue eyed boy. We all love you so much.

Mummy x

 

 

 

 

Living Arrows 19/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

Last week brought lots of sunshine and blue skies and that meant lots of garden time for the kids. My kids love to be outdoors and it definitely has a positive impact on their moods and behaviour. The walk to and from school always seems much nicer when the suns shining too.

After school Daisy was eager to get on her bike in the garden and Jake followed suit. Come bedtime they were both shattered. They were out for the count as soon as their heads hit the pillow. I really hope we are going to have a good Summer this year.

Jake

As I publish this post Jake will have just one day left of being two. My littlest boy is growing up and I couldn’t be prouder. The last couple of months have seen us turn a corner with Jake, every day brings change for the better. He never fails to make me laugh even when I’m trying to be cross with him.

Daisy

I love listening to Daisy read. Nowadays she barely needs any help from me which amazes me. It will soon be time for another school holiday and when she returns her transition to year 1 will begin. Time seriously needs to slow down.

Living Arrows

April At The Websters

Although we are already a couple of days in to May I thought I would share with you what we got up to in April. I’m looking forward to getting back on track with my regular monthly posts.

April has been a funny old month, I didn’t feel quite myself. After some much needed rest and reflection I’m feeling much better. The children continue to grow and are happy that they can finally spend lots of time in the garden. I’m taking steps to improve my health and get my diabetes under control it’s a long road ahead. Chris has joined a gym and is really enjoying going. It also means I can’t send him for chocolate in the evening which is a huge bonus.

Here are some of the things we did in April.

  • We had a lovely Easter Egg Hunt at my aunties house on Easter Saturday.
  • Daisy went on a school trip to a local farm.
  • Jake went from nappy to potty to toilet in just under 2 weeks.
  • The kids got lots of yummy Easter Eggs.
  • I decluttered the house within an inch of it’s life (where does it keep coming from ?)
  • Chris and I watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix (tough viewing but such an important message)
  • We went to Gandeys Circus (Chris won us a family ticket)
  • I made some extra money from selling some clutter which is always a bonus.
  • Daisy painted and decorated some eggs for a competition at school.
  • I went to watch Beauty & The Beast at the cinema.
  • The kids had their first proper ice-cream of the season.
  • I entered lots of competitions (I’ve got the bug again)
  • We watched Moana that many times I’m surprised the DVD still works !
  • I took a much needed break from blogging.

 

May is set to busy with Jake’s 3rd birthday to celebrate and our first family holiday to prepare for. I’m looking forward to getting back on track with everything.

 

 

Taking A Break

I’ve decided to take a break from my lovely blog and blogging in general, it’s not been an easy decision to make at all. In fact it’s taken me months of toing and froing to finally admit that for the moment my heart just isn’t in it anymore.

My health hasn’t been great recently, I need to focus on getting well first and foremost. Although I share lots of things there are still difficult and stressful things in the background that I choose to keep private. For now those things need my full attention.

Sometimes in life you get exactly what you have been wanting or working towards and then all of a sudden you realise that perhaps it’s not what you wanted at all. It’s hard to just admit this, especially when so much effort and so many hours have been spent.

I know everyone says this but it’s true, I’ve met so many lovely people through being a blogger. I will definitely miss the community but I’m also definitely looking forward to getting my evenings back.

I think I took a wrong turn somewhere and drifted further and further away from why I wanted to blog in the first place. For almost 4 years I’ve shared all aspects of our lives, put my thoughts and feelings out there for all to see which for an introvert like me has been a revelation.

I’ve no doubts that I’m not totally done with blogging, I am still a blogger, a writer and a sharer but for now I need to put it down. I need some time and space to reevaluate, so I’m stepping off the relentless merry-go-round that blogging can be.

I suppose I just want to say thank you, for each and every one of you that has ever visited, commented, entered a giveaway, taken part in a linky it’s all been appreciated.

I won’t say goodbye I will say see you soon…..

 

 

 

Living Arrows 14/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

I’m pleased to report that last week was a much better week for us all. Although, I’m not quite sure where on earth that week went.

I’ve noticed a lot of people mention that their kids have finished school for the Easter holidays, Daisy has almost two weeks left ! I must admit I’m slightly jealous, I love the slower pace of life that half term brings, I of course don’t love the inevitable sibling squabbles.

The weather forecast is promising some sunshine this coming week which s great news. I might even let the kids break out the shorts and t-shirts.

Jake

The thing that lots of us parents dread has finally happened, Jake has totally dropped his afternoon nap ! I know I was probably a bit spoilt that he’s had one up until now. I tend to get very tired in the afternoon so instead of a nap I’m insisting on some quiet time. It gives both Jake and I a chance to recharge our batteries. Some days we read books but sometimes I let Jake watch something on my iPad. It gives him the down time he needs and me a little time to rest.

Daisy

I can’t claim this picture as my own but it’s my favourite one of Daisy from this week. This lucky little girl was treated to a Friday night sleepover and a breakfast with Belle and The Beast the next day. My lovely cousin came to collect Daisy after school on Friday. On Saturday she surprised her with a visit to a Beauty and The Beast themed breakfast at a local restaurant. There were games, songs and stories and Daisy even got to dance with the beast himself.

Living Arrows

 

 

March At The Websters

I won’t sugar coat it, March for me has been a bit shit. Months of stress and anxiety caught up with me and knocked me off my feet. I’m working on reducing the stress and trying to use techniques I’ve learnt to help with the anxiety. It’s going to be a long road to recovery for me and taking it one day at a time doesn’t come naturally.

I totally blame Tom Hardy for this rubbish month as I didn’t like the photo of him on my calendar for March. Joking aside it’s made me take a long hard look at my lifestyle and pushed me to make some changes I had been putting off.

Of course there’s been some positives in March. As much as I do try to focus on the good parts I feel it’s also important to embrace the bad. So I’m  sharing a mixture of what the Month of March brought us.

  • We visited a local farm to spot the first signs of Spring.
  • Daisy had an eye test at school which needs a follow-up appointment.
  • We watched loads of great new films including Moana which I think is the best film I’ve ever seen.
  • I had to turn away work due to feeling so stressed.
  • We had some lovely Sunny days which meant lots of garden time.
  • I managed to dry lots of washing on the line on said Sunny days.
  • I had a wonderful child-free afternoon at Bygone Times.
  • Daisy celebrated World Book Day at school dressed as Rapunzel.
  • Jake got over his fear of having a bath, hallelujah !
  • Daisy got an ear infection and needed lots of cuddles.
  • I cut my working hours right back and enjoyed some much needed time with Chris in the evenings instead.
  • Daisy moved up a reading level which means a trip to year 1’s classroom to change her book.
  • Red nose day was celebrated with crazy hair and joke telling at school.
  • Jake and I went to a maths workshop in Daisy’s class.
  • We saved lots of money by Spring cleaning our finances and embracing frugality again.

I’m hoping with all the changes I have been making that April will be a better month for us. I’m looking forward to the Easter holidays, visiting family and eating Easter eggs.

Living Arrows 13/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” Kahlil Gibran.

Every Monday for the rest of this year I will share with you two photo’s of my children that celebrate their childhood.

I’ve not taken many photo’s this week of the children. Some weeks just seem to whizz by and not much is achieved. The children continue to grow and change regardless, I love that I can capture a still of those tiny differences from week to week.

Daisy

Someone couldn’t resist trying on Mummy’s specs this week. Funnily enough she did have an eye test at school which she didn’t pass. We are just waiting for a further appointment to see what the problem is. In other fantastic news, Daisy went up a reading level and now has to visit the year 1 classroom to choose her reading books. It won’t be long before she’s reading us a story at bedtime.

Jake

I’m not going to sugar coat it, last week with Jake was very very stressful. He’s always been a challenge but last week was an absolute nightmare. I’m hoping it’s because he’s been under the weather lately and not a permanent thing. This stickle brick creation is a banana shooting machine, nothing beats the imagination of an almost 3 year old.

Living Arrows

 

 

The Things I Will Never Know

Life is full of questions, it’s how we learn, by asking them. Sometimes there are questions that we never ask, even though we want to. Sometimes we want to ask but we don’t really want to know the answers.

Questions can sometimes be painful, because there are no answers. They will always be there, unanswered no matter how much you try to make peace with that fact it will still hurt.

On Mother’s Day I allow myself to ask these questions. I allow myself to feel the pain and weight that these questions bare. Then I take a deep breath and continue on.

Here are the things I will never know.

When did you first feel me move in your belly ? how much did I weigh when I was born ? Was I good baby ? 

When was my first smile, tooth, step ?

Did you love me then, ever, at the end ?

Why did you really leave ? what made you so unhappy ? did you miss me ? 

Did you ever tell me the truth ? 

Are the few memories I have of you from childhood real ? Were there any good memories ?

Did you know that the last time you saw me it would be the last ?

Could you understand why I couldn’t watch you die ? 

Did you hate me right at the end ? Is that why nobody has ever been in touch to tell me ?

Did you find peace ? I hope you did.